Reblogged from

bombing:

[lawyer voice] ballsack, your honor

Reblogged from Sure why not

gherkind:

Parents: *talking*
Me: #listen later #reference

Reblogged from
radicalfarts:

eraserheadsbaby:

the ol’ razzle dazzle

IM SCREAMING

radicalfarts:

eraserheadsbaby:

the ol’ razzle dazzle

IM SCREAMING

Tags: SCREAMS

siderealscion:

mALEFISHIENT, MARK

ive been meaning to make work-related comics forever, so enjoy some choice movie title bastardizations.

(these all actually, seriously, happened, with no humor or awareness on the part of the customer at the time as far as I could tell. so, yes, someone actually asked for a ticket to “Detergent” with a straight face.)

Tags: SADIE Comics

blastortoise:

bank: your account is at -$5000….

me: |-5000|

me: :)

bank: sorry for wasting your time sir, you have a nice day.

elijahkrantz:

I found out santa wasnt real because I got a spy kit that christmas so i fingerprinted my mom and matched it to the fingerprints i dusted on the milk mug i left out… Im on that next level shit

oreooficial:

spelling bee administrator: your word is delicious
me: D to the E to the L I C I O U S to the D to the E to the to the to the
spelling bee administrator: hit it fergie